Birthing Alana
My birth story …how I saw it … swearing and all ..(consider that your MA rating)
SOOOOO…. Where to start?, “At the beginning” I hear you all yelling at me in my direction, well, that’s just it!, where was the beginning?, this is something that I am still unclear of myself, was it the start of my labour at 20 weeks when my cervix had shortened to 8mm despite progesterone?, or the time that I found myself scared and bleeding at the end of my second trimester?, OR was it when I was hospitalised after 30 hours of contractions 2 minutes apart at 28 weeks?...I have no idea!, all I know is that this pregnancy has been far from joyous, which is sad really, you’d think that after 14 rounds of heart breaking if cycles and 8 losses that I’d be blessed with a great pregnancy and enjoy every single second and bask in its glory right?...RIGHT???. Wrong! So as I mentioned above, this is our little miracle blessing, our if baby our rainbow baby, call her what you will, but she is MINE!!, allllll mine and I am SO blessed to have her. I also have another blessing, a five year old blessing named Mollie, affectionately called Moo, she was IVF as well well and worked first round and I really did have the perfect pregnancy with her, she was born at 32 weeks but besides that there were no complications. Just really a messy and very medical and technically monitored labour that seemed to be more about trying to get my baby out as fast as they could so the staff could go home, 21 hours after my water broke she was born, that was after an epidural that I asked not to have, and Pitocin, that I asked not to have, and being hooked up to the monitors that I also asked not to have, but at the end of the labour your expected to be happy and grateful and worship at the feet of the doctors for saving your baby from a long stressful labour and be forever at their mercy Amen!.....NO!!.. Screw you Amen, and screw you doctors, all you did was remove my rights in replace of your power, and while I am thankful that she was safe and here alive, I found myself dwelling on what could have been.
So this pregnancy I vowed to do it MY way, with a little compromise with husband of course, if he had his way he would have had me on a slab bed having her cut out, sewed up and back at home doing daily chores and being super mum all in a week’s time (well maybe a little over the top but hey…).
I was talking to my dear friend Kirsty (how I love that girl) about placenta encapsulation, and while all of her friends were giving her grief for it I was curious, interested and slightly amused by it, it was this interest that lead me on the path to finding a doula, one search for placenta encapsulation on google lead to other searches such as hypno birthing and natural birth and they all kind of pointed to a doula being the best resource for it all, like a perfect package !!, I forgot about the doula thing after a while and figured that the services would only really be available in the big smoke and that a small country town wouldn’t really have anything available, then one day I was on gumtree looking for a birthing ball, I typed in “birthing “and an add popped up for a Doula service in the Ballarat area, it was a sign!!, I screen shot the add and took a few days to think about it and decided to call her. I got her voice mail “hi this is Sandy….”, OMG she sounded so sweet on the phone and I left a message for her to call me back. She did, and I booked a appointment there and then for us to meet and talk about what it is that she offers, she came around that night and I just knew as soon as I opened the door that this was the woman that was going to help me bring my baby into the world, little did she know the long road in birth support that she had signed herself up to with me, as my pregnancy was FAR from normal.
I’m not going to share with you all what discussions/methods and natural interventions that sandy and (that’s my doula) had in place, remember I was nowhere near full term and some of the things we tried and contemplated to try and beat my induction would be considered controversial and I am not going there, all you need to know is that we tried to make my pregnancy more comfortable by trying many SAFE and natural things.
So should I skip to the day of the birth then?...lets …
So It was a Wednesday and I had my usual weekly appointment at the ANC clinic, I informed them that I had some period pain that morning but that was nothing out of the ordinary and it happened quite a lot really, they put it down to my cervix shortening, so they decided to give me a internal examination, they informed me that my cervix was 2 cm dilated, I was 36 weeks and booked in to be induced the following week, the dr asked if I wanted her to do a stretch and sweep, I agreed and she performed it very quickly and it was over in a few seconds, she told me that I may get some light cramping that day and that if anything was going to happen it would do so in the next half a day, but she was certain that id need a few stretch and sweeps to get me going.
I left the appointment feeling fine, I had a little fluid loss but put that down to maybe the gel leaking into my knickers as I had no other symptoms.
I have NO idea what compelled me to do the following but I felt the need to go to Big W and purchase a capsule, not only did I purchase it but I installed it, then I organised my hospital bag and placed it by the front door, followed by writing a detailed list of step by step instructions on how to care for and not neglect our 5 year old daughter, for my husband and placed it on the fridge.
The ANC had asked me to present to labour later in the night if my period cramping returned, it did, about 3 o’clock it returned, was uncomfortable but bearable and by 8:30pm it was still hanging around, I rang my friend tacy and asked if she minded coming with me for company to the hospital, she picked me up and while we were driving to the hospital I mentioned to my friend that I had a strange moment where it felt as though the baby was screwing her head down into my pelvis, it didn’t hurt at all but felt ….strange. There was no sign of labour so I wasn’t concerned.
We parked the car across the road from the hospital and we got out, I got half way across the road and suddenly I felt a big kick and a massive flood of water, yep my water broke, in the middle of the road, traffic stopped I stood stunned and turned to Tracy, “fuck my water just broke!” screeched to her (now might be a good time to announce that this birth story may contain offensive language….a lot of offensive language), she started laughing uncontrollably, which I am sure was a nervous reaction, and she called my husband to inform him, while I rang Sandy, whom was calm and said she would be there as soon as she could, why was she so dam calm?...I was freaking out!!
So by the time that I made it to the hospital emergency entrance I was on my hands and knees moaning in pain, the staff tried to convince me to get into the wheel chair but I declined, I was worried that sitting down would make it harder for me to get back up as I was in so much pain.
We are placed in a room that is a small examination room and the labour was really coming along fast, I had a few brief moments where I felt as though I needed to push but then they calmed down, this is the point that sandy turned up, omg I was so happy to see her, I think the first thing that I said to her was “who’s stupid idea was this to try and do this without drugs? “ ****transition stage number one ****
They moved me into a darkened labour room and I needed the rest room, I sat on the toilet for a wee, which was easy enough, but then followed a massive mind blowing contraction, I was a little
worried that I was going to have a baby on the toilet!, I got up and made it to the hand basin, which was a major effort, I leant over the basin and sandy came in to check on me, it was at this point that I realised there was no turning back, I looked at sandy and said “I think I want something for the pain now, I have done so well, I won’t be disappointed in myself I promise”****transition number two****. Sandy just gently rubbed my back and “said to me ï think your transitioning “and gave me a look that I interpreted as” its way too late for drugs my darling!, you’re going to do this intervention free!”
So into the darkened room I return and kneel beside the bed on a mat, to my horror the pooh monster appeared! yes that right!..POOH!!, EVERYWHERE !!, including on my own foot!!, I was so embarrassed!!, ÖMG i just poohed on my own foot!!: i yelled ****transition number three*** it’s after this point that my brain just shut off and my memory left me along with the pooh!
It was this point that my husband turned up, I was getting worried that he was going to miss the birth, and in a way I think I kind of held things off a little until he got there.
I was oblivious to it at the time but the nurses were concerned that I was dehydrated and bubs heart beat was too high, the nurse kept a constant eye on the heart rhythm without trying to restrict my freedom, I could feel that I was pushing but every time I stopped I could feel her head retracting back up into the uterus, they managed to get me up onto the bed on my knees hugging the pillow and very quickly I started pushing, I am unaware if there was any talk going on in the room at the time but in my head there was dead silence, I honestly could not even hear my own earthly groans and yells, then I heard someone say “turn around and take your baby”….I froze!, I didn’t want to turn around!, I wanted to see her so bad but at the same time I was scared!, I don’t know why…
I turned around and saw her for the first time and fought back a sudden rush of tears that was a mixture of love and relief with a tiny pinch of proud.
I look down to my right leg to see an injection being stabbed into me and remember thinking WWWHHOOAAA what is this??!!, this was not in my birth plan!, I protested by sharply yelling “what the fuck was that!??”(my doula reminded me of this moment), I can’t remember if the nurses explained to me exactly what it was or not, but I knew it was for the placenta, the birthing of the placenta I must say was actually the worst part for me!, it was very unpleasant.
I was so proud of myself and even announced to my friend Tracy whom stayed for the whole birth “and I didn’t even swear!!”, she said “oh yes you did!, there were a few fucks in there”
The next hour was a total blur, I know I fed her and had a cuddle and some skin to skin, they she was checked over and had to be rushed off to the SCN, I then took a shower and made my way over there to see her.
I was SO grateful for all of the support that I had between the midwives, doula and my friend Tracy.
So there you go !!, I did it!!, not the way I planned but I had a drug free natural birth and I experienced the raw pleasure of birth, the way it is meant to be and for that I am so proud
Ballarat birth support ~~ https://www.facebook.com/ballaratbirthsupport
My new page, Mothers milk soap ~~ https://www.facebook.com/mothersmilksoap
